ALL YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SOCIAL PHOBIA

It's natural to feel self-conscious, nervous, or shy in front of others at times. Anyone can have a racing heart, sweaty palms, or fluttering stomach when trying out for stage performance, giving interviews, asking someone on a first date, or giving a class presentation. Most people manage to get through these moments but for some, it seem so unbearable that they might feel too nervous to give answers in class, be unable to make eye contact with classmates in the hallway, or avoid chatting with others at the lunch table.

Social phobia (also sometimes called social anxiety) is a type of anxiety problem. Extreme feelings of shyness and self-consciousness slowly build into a powerful fear and as a result, a person feels uncomfortable participating in everyday social situations. The person feels physical sensations of fear, like a faster heartbeat and breathing. These are part of the body's fight–flight response. They're caused by a rush of adrenaline and other chemicals that prepare the body to either fight or make a quick getaway.

People with social phobia tend to interpret these sensations and emotions in a way that leads them to avoid the situation ("Uh-oh, my heart's pounding, this must be dangerous — I'd better not do it!"). Someone else might interpret the same physical sensations of nervousness a different way ("OK, that's just my heart beating fast. It's me getting nervous because it's almost my turn to speak. It happens every time. No big deal.").

People with social phobia can usually interact easily with family and a few close friends. But they are scared of meeting new people, talking in a group, or speaking in public. They're more sensitive to fears that they'll be embarrassed, look foolish, make a mistake, or be criticized or laughed at. No one wants to experience these things. But most people don't really spend much time worrying about it.

How Social Phobia Can Affect Someone's Life

With social phobia, thoughts and fears about what others think get exaggerated in someone's mind. The person starts to focus on the embarrassing things that could happen, instead of the good things. This makes a situation seem much worse than it is, and influences a person to avoid it. Some of the ways social phobia can affect someone's life include:

Feeling lonely or disappointed over missed opportunities for friendship and fun: Social phobia might prevent someone from chatting with friends in the lunchroom, joining an after-school club, going to a party, or asking someone on a date.

Not getting the most out of school: Social phobia might keep a person from volunteering an answer in class, reading aloud, or giving a presentation. Someone with social phobia might feel too nervous to ask a question in class or go to a teacher for help.

Missing a chance to share their talents and learn new skills: Social phobia might prevent someone from auditioning for the school play, being in the talent show, trying out for a team, or joining in a service project. Social phobia not only prevents people from trying new things. It also prevents them from making the normal, everyday mistakes that help people improve their skills still further.

Why Do Some People Develop Social Phobia?

 Most of the time, it starts when a person is young. Like other anxiety-based problems, social phobia develops because of a combination of three factors:

 A person's biological makeup: Social phobia could be partly due to the genes and temperament a person inherits. Likewise, some people are born with a shy temperament and tend to be cautious and sensitive in new situations and prefer what's familiar. However, not everyone with a shy temperament develops social phobia (in fact, most don't).

Behaviors learned from role models (especially parents): A person's naturally shy temperament can be influenced by what he or she learns from role models. If parents or others react by overprotecting a child who is shy, the child won't have a chance to get used to new situations and new people. Over time, shyness can build into social phobia. Shy parents might also unintentionally set an example by avoiding certain social interactions. A shy child who watches this learns that socializing is uncomfortable, distressing, and something to avoid.

Life events and experiences: If people born with a cautious nature have stressful experiences, it can make them even more cautious and shy. Feeling pressured to interact in ways they don't feel ready for, being criticized or humiliated, or having other fears and worries can make it more likely for a shy or fearful person to develop social anxiety. They'll be scared of making a mistake or disappointing someone, and will be more sensitive to criticism.

Dealing With Social Phobia

The good news is that the effect of these negative experiences can be turned around with some focused slow-but-steady effort. Fear can be learned. And it can also be unlearned, too. People with social phobia can learn to manage fear, develop confidence and coping skills, and stop avoiding things that make them anxious, if they want to. But it's not always easy. Overcoming social phobia means getting up the courage it takes to go beyond what's comfortable, little by little.

Therapists can help people create a plan for facing social fears one by one, and help them build the skills and confidence to do it. This includes practicing new behaviors. Sometimes, but not always, medications that reduce anxiety are used as part of the treatment for social phobia. Family or friends are especially important for people who are dealing with social phobia. The right support from a few key people can help those with social phobia gather the courage to go outside their comfort zone and face the world.

Therapy for social anxiety disorder (social phobia)

Of all the treatments available, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to work the best for treating social anxiety disorder, or social phobia. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the premise that what you think affects how you feel, and your feelings affect your behavior. So if you change the way you think about social situations that give you anxiety, you'll feel and function better.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy for social phobia typically involves: 

1.    Learning how to control the physical symptoms of anxiety through relaxation techniques and breathing exercises.

2.    Challenging negative, unhelpful thoughts that trigger and fuel social anxiety, replacing them with more balanced views. :

3.    Facing the social situations you fear in a gradual, systematic way, rather than avoiding them.

How can I stop thinking that everyone is looking at me?

In order to reduce self-focus, pay attention to what is happening around you, rather than monitoring yourself or focusing on symptoms of anxiety in your body:

• Look at other people and the surroundings.
• Really listen to what is being said (not to your own negative thoughts).
• Don't take all the responsibility for keeping conversations going – silence is OK, other people will contribute.

Having social phobia isn't a person's fault and isn't something anyone chooses. Instead, friends and family can encourage people with social phobia to pick a small goal to aim for, remind them to go for it, and be there when they might feel discouraged. Good friends and family are there to celebrate each small success along the way.

And always remember everyone is special in one way or the other! So stay happy! ;)